PT #2 = Not-So Colossal Failure

After my poor performance at PT last week and the general pissed off mood of my recruiter, it was no surprise to me that his FaceBook status the next day was, "Good PT for those who made it. For those who didn't, I have a surprise for you." (except his grammar wasn't as precise and his caps lock was most definitely engaged)

I started the C25K running program but only had time to do one day before it was time for PT again (my recruiter scheduled PT early this week).

Terrified for what was in store for me I began hydrating on Tuesday and all day Wednesday. I was praying that he wouldn't have up do another 3-mile run, especially since the weather called for the hottest part of the day to be exactly when we were to meet for PT.

I arrived at his office a good ten minutes early with my son, as usual, and immediately was put to work on crunches. No problem, except that every time my shoulder blades hit the floor my son would try to hug me which didn't do great things for my time.

Thankfully there is a football at the recruiter's office and my recruiter took to tossing the football with my son to keep him occupied while I finished my crunches.

For as burly, gruff, tough and rough as my PT recruiter is I am warmed and touch by how well he treats my son. He plays with him, talks to him gently and in a friendly manner and will play ball with him at any given chance. It would be just as easy for him to ignore my baby or get irritated that I have to bring him for the first few minutes of PT until my husband gets off of work but instead of making a deal about it he simply said, "Don't worry about it. It's not a problem," and has accepted my son's presence with ease which makes me much more comfortable.

Next I did my flexed arm hang and then went out to stretch when my husband arrived to pick up our son.

Then the recruiter came out and said, "We are doing another 3-mile run."

Oh joy.

We split up into teams and before we headed out the leader of our team looked at me and said, "By the way, if you fall out, you're getting carried." I assured him I would do my best to prevent that from happening.

This time and I'm very very happy to say that I did a mile and a half before I even felt the overwhelming need to slow down.

When we passed another team I heard someone say, "Common! They have the girl on their team and they are passing us."

One of the guys on my team said, "That was offensive."

To which I replied, "Not considering my performance last week."

"True," he said, "How about I just call it sexist?"

"Okay."

On the way back was when I started to have trouble. I never slowed to a walk (at least not a walk for me though at least one guy in my team complained that all we did was walk half the way) but if I slowed I kept it to a jog.

We came in second out of the three teams which I was very happy about, especially since no one had to carry me.

Today, however, my knees feel like someone has hit them both with hammers and I find myself irritated and frustrated. Perhaps a bit worried as well.

My knees are what stopped my running in November and then again in January. It was my knees that stopped my exercise routine in April and after a month of physical therapy for my knees I'm back to feeling pain in them. Will I ever get to a place were my knees won't hurt? And if my knees can't take a few miles of running with nothing but body weight, how will they handle multiple-mile humps with 30 lbs packs and loads and loads of gear?

I know that if, in the next four months, I'm not able to find a solution to my knee-pain problem, it very well may kill my enlistment which I'm really not sure I'm ready to face.

In the mean time I'm icing, icy-hoting, low-impacting and trying to strengthen them. Only time will tell what they can handle.

PT #1 = Colossal Failure

Let's just say it's a DARN good thing I don't ship to Boot Camp until October. My flexed-arm hang and my crunches may be good but my run is pathetic at best.

Since hurting my knees, being sick, taking weeks off to go to MI to be with my mother-in-law before she passed away, and then having to go back for the funeral when she did, I have done absolutely no running.

Yes, I have been able to swim but there is no good substitute for running.

Yesterday was the first PT I was able to make since enlisting.

We started out with pull-ups and the flexed arm hang for us girls and at least I did 64 second there. Next we went out and stretched and did some warm up exercises that I was keeping up with.

It was about 90 degrees and I had had less than a glass of water all day. This was my biggest mistake.

Then the recruiter came out and said we were going on a nice, long run.

How should I say this? I thought I was going to die!

In the three mile circuit, about half way my whole body went bone dry. I stopped sweating, my mouth felt like it was full of sand and my tongue felt like it was swelling up. My side started cramping and, as you can imagine, I started slowing down.

Bless his heart, there was another poolee who fell back with me and didn't leave me the entire time. He even helped me find a water fountain.

Needless to say, our recruiter was... disappointed.

Okay, angry is more like it.

On the way back the same poolee stayed next to me, talking to me, encouraging me the whole way. He even stayed with me during the walking-off period and to get a drink. I'm confident that he will make a FINE Marine as he truly took the "leave no one behind" to heart. No matter how irritated I'm sure he was with me he didn't show it even though others made comments along the lines of, "I wonder who's going to drop out of boot camp?" and the like.

I don't blame them for those comments or thoughts but I wasn't horribly affected by them either.

I have that determination to go and to succeed and I know that my run is something I need significant work on.

So, I'm getting to it and going to run at least three times a week. Here's hoping that nothing else happens that will interfere.

Female Marine Hair and Sock Bun

On the list of top questions asked by soon-to-be, female recruits are questions about hair.

Should I cut my hair? How do I do my hair? Do I have to cut my hair? If I cut my hair, what is a good length? How long is too long? Is it easier to have short or long hair?

I'll admit it. I've asked those questions myself.

The answers are as unique as the individuals asking them. There are female Marines who swear that short is best and some that vow longer is better. Some female Marines I have heard from said they were glad their hair was short so they didn't have to fuss with it and others have said they were glad their hair was long so they didn't have to worry about it growing out or getting in their eyes.

I have been battling that question myself and debating whether or not I should cut my hair or grow it out.

While I was debating I let my hair grow deciding that if I chose to grow it out then at least I'd have a head start knowing that I could cut it at any time.

By chance, I wandered into a salon in Michigan where my stylist just happened to have an aunt in the Marine Corps and, after learning that I was joining the Corps this fall, had quite a bit of advice about my hair.

"Grow it long," she said.

She went on to explain that with my wavy, almost curly hair and no opportunity to really style my hair I would end up with unruly waves that would get into my eyes, stick out all over the place and generally be hard to manage without styling products like a blow drier, mousse and a nice round brush.

I had to give it to her. She knew more about my hair in five minutes than I was able to figure out all through high school.

My hair, when short and left to its own devices can take on a frightening life of its own.

She went on to explain that each woman is different. If one has very regular and controlled curls that are predictable or stick straight hair with no wave at all they could easily get away with a short wash-and-go bob that would be hassle free.

For those of us with unruly hair, however, it was easier for us to go with longer hair and tie it back.

She explained about not using too much mousse or gel and perfecting the military sock bun before I even left for Boot Camp so that my hair would be a quick and easy fix and not a source of stress.

I'm happy to say that after five or so times of trying to do a sock bun I finally got it right.

So, in case you are wondering what I did, I'll tell you.

1. My husband donated one of his socks to my cause. I read somewhere that dress socks make the best sock bun socks and so I asked if he would give me one.

I used a tan sock so that it would be as close to my natural color if any sock were to poke through.

2. After cutting off just the toe portion of the sock at the toe seam, I rolled the sock up starting from the toe side and working my way to the ankle side. The reason for this is that the ankle side is more stretchy and will hold the sock together better.

3. With my hair still damp (a recommendation from the hair stylist) I made a low pony-tail and secured that with a scrunchi.

4. Then I placed the sock around my pony-tail.

5. I fanned my hair around the sock using a comb to make sure the sock was evenly covered.

6. Next I used a second scrunchi and placed that over my hair and bun to make the bun look even.

7. I twisted and pinned the excess hair that was sticking out.

Done!

Below is a good video to show the process.



I guess, when it all comes down to it, I will do what I need to do and deciding on what to do with your hair before leaving for Boot Camp, for a female, is a bit scary. My theory is simply that I can always cut it, I can't put it back. I will try it long and if it gets to be too much for me I will chop it off. It's not like I have anyone to impress in Boot Camp.

There are those who say something silly like, "Why don't you just do a GI Jane?" (If you don't know what that means it's just when a girl shaves off her hair like Demi Moore's character in the movie GI Jane did). To that, I would respond that the "GI Jane" hairstyle is actually against military grooming standard regulations.

As per the Marine Corps Grooming Standard:

The requirement for hair regulations is to maintain uniformity within a military population. Women's hairstyles require non-eccentric styles. Female Marines will be well groomed at all times and when in uniform will abide by the following:

Hair may touch the collar, but will not fall below the collar's lower edge. Hair that would fall naturally below the collar's lower edge will be neatly and inconspicuously fastened or pinned. During physical training periods in which physical training clothing is worn, hair will be allowed to fall naturally, without being fastened or pinned. This does not apply when conducting physical training in the utility uniform.

Hair will be styled so as not to interfere with the proper wear of the uniform headgear. All headgear will fit snugly and comfortably around the largest part of the head without distortion or excessive gaps. Hairstyles which do not allow the headgear to be worn in this manner are prohibited.

Faddish and exaggerated styles to include shaved portions of the scalp other than the neckline, designs cut in the hair, unsecured ponytails and styles which are distinctly unbalanced or lopsided are prohibited. Multiple braiding is authorized. If hair extensions are used in the braiding of the hair, the extensions must have the same general appearance as the individual's natural hair. Braided hairstyles will be conservative, and conform to other guidelines listed herein.

So, there you have it, girls. Don't shave your head.

There are other people who say, "Why worry about it?"

Well, I'll tell you why. According to a good female friend of mine who served as a Drill Instructor for a number of years, you only have a select amount of time to "master" your hair or the Drill Instructors get out the scissors. And, according to her, when the Drill Instructors get out the scissors it is guaranteed to be the worst hair cut of one's life.

To us women, our hair can be our identification and when my cold, hard husband heard of this even he winced and said, "That's COLD."

It is cold. The humiliation. The sadness at losing your hair to a Drill Instructor's scissors. No thank you. If I'm going to lose it it's going to be on my terms.

This is why I don't blame any gals who wish to cut their hair before they go. I think everyone should do what she thinks is best. I've decided to go with long hair. Because of that decision I've also decided to master the sock bun LONG before I ever get to Boot Camp. I'll let you know how it all turns out for me when I get back in January.

Blouse Sleeves and Uniforms

Yesterday my husband and I were watching an Army movie and my husband scoffed at the "dookie rolls" (a dookie roll being, of course, a poorly rolled sleeve that is round and bunched up instead of square and smooth).

I could not resist asking to be taught so my husband went upstairs and got his MarPat blouse of old and taught me how to roll a proper sleeve.

He did the right sleeve, I did the left. I'm pretty proud to say that my sleeve looked better than his!

Then, of course, my son was very curious as to what this new item of clothing was. He has never seen his Daddy in uniform. A sight that no human should have to go without seeing because my husband is one FINE looking individual in uniform. Well, he fine out of uniform but there's just something about that man in uniform.

I promise to stop drooling now.

At any rate, I now know how to roll a proper sleeve.

Mission accomplished.

And, speaking of uniforms, I'm going to have to pull out my little ruler and rehearse aligning chevrons properly on the collars of the blouse.

Back when my husband was still in I took great pride in the care of his uniforms. I would launder them, careful to remove the chevrons, take them out of the drier still ever so slightly damp and lay them flat so that they dried with crisp creases. Then, ever so carefully I would align the chevrons and put them back on. I also can't say how battered my poor fingers were after sewing name-tapes on by hand (NOT an easy task).

So, here's a note for any wannabes, wives or new Marines out there. Call your local dry-cleaners, tailors and seamstress shops and ask if they can/will put on the name-tapes. They can do it in about thirty seconds, while you wait and charge next to nothing (I paid $2 for both the trousers and the blouse tapes to be put on).

Just a tip.

EAS Song

I'm not sure what's funnier, the song or the fact that I actually understand almost all of what he is saying and I'm not even a Marine... yet.

Training Through Injuries

In April I hurt my knees. Basically I overused them. Not only were they swelling and felt hot to the touch but a random bruise started forming over my left knee and it was then I decided to go and see a doctor.

I went to doctor of sports medicine and after a quick evaluation she told me I have perfectly healthy knees.

Phew.

She said that normally she would only recommend rest and a gentler exercise program but after hearing of my plans to leave for Marine Corps Boot Camp this fall she prescribed physical therapy to get me to a place where I can do all that the Marine Corps requires of me.

My first visit was almost two hours long and had to be one of the longest physical evaluations of my legs ever done.

The result: Yes, my knees are healthy, the therapist said. But.. they are weak. Also, according to my therapist, I am extremely flexible and to counter the flexibility I need strength, more so than average so that something doesn't get strained by being bent farther than it should.

For two weeks now I've been in physical therapy for my knees and my therapist has practically had to put a leash on me to keep me from running or doing too much and going too fast for my healing and strengthening process.

She assures me she will let me run when my knees are ready but I'm chomping at the bit and keep asking her if it's time for me to hit the trails.

So, to keep me from going nuts with anticipation she gave me permission to hit the pool as hard and as fast as I want.

Bless her heart.

I get to the pool and I don't even bother easing into anything. Immediately I dive in and swim as fast and as hard as I can to the other side where I do five-ten dips on the edge of the pool (a dip being a kind of push up on the side of the pool with your waist still in the water). Back I go to the other side of the pool where I get out and do ten-twenty squats.

I dive back in and off I go to the other side of the pool for more dips and then back again for another variation of leg exercises from water running (not as easy as you would think) or a variation or leg lifts and extensions using the water for resistance.

I keep my pace fast to keep my heart at a rate it would be at during running and I am happy to say that the exercise is starting to pay off.

My flexed-arm hang has started to improve and my therapist says the low impact exercise is doing great things for my legs and knees.

She still won't let me run but promises that after our next meeting (tomorrow) she will try to come up with a gradual running plan that will allow me to get back on the trail provided I promise to listen to my body (and my knees) and stop or slow down when I feel pain.

I have promised.

I've been worried that my lack of running will hurt my IST but those who know me have assured me that as long as I work on my strength training and keep it up in the pool that once I hit the trails again it will be a very short time before I'm blasting through the miles at a good clip.

I'm enjoying getting fit again and feeling the strength in my body continue to grow.

Before You Enlist

I was doing more research on the military in general and came across a post by a former Marine trying to convince a wannabe not to join the Marines.

The young man was saying how he wanted to join the Marines because the uniforms were cool and he could play with guns and he'd get respect and earn the title and yada, yada, yada.

The Marine said he had joined for the same reasons and after Boot Camp the blinders came off and he saw the real Marine Corps. The drama, the politics, the mindless repetition, the BS. He couldn't wait for his contract to be up.

He shared a link called BeforeYouEnlist.org and I clicked on it.

While I was at MEPS I had to flinch at the preconceptions of what poolees thought the Marines are like or are going to be like. No, I'm not a Marine yet but I have spent the last eleven years intimately close to more Marines than I could try to count. Their experiences and lives have touched my own in a very personal way. So personally, in fact, that I married a Marine. I have seen a Marine off to war and welcomed him home again. I have gone through separations. I have dealt with so much political crap, mistakes and irritations that it's a wonder I would ever consider the military myself. I have held my husband as he shook in the wake of a flashback. I have heard the stories and seen the lives of real Marines first hand.

It's not always glorious. It's not always cool. It's often ugly, terrifying, depressing, lonely, tiring and even damaging. There are Marine wives I know who have never welcomed their Marines back home alive. There are marriages that have been destroyed through the separations. There are legs, hands and eyes missing because of combat. There are mental scars.

To this day my husband tells me he can still smell burning bodies at times.

This is the part that the recruiters don't tell you. This is the part they try to hide. This is the part that this site (beforeyouenlist.org) tries to show.

But it's important to note that while it's not always good, it's also not always bad, either.

If it were all bad there wouldn't ever be reenlistments and there are plenty of Marines who live to be Marines. There is something good there that brings out the best in some and they thrive under the brutality of it all to emerge as fine, good men.

So many Marines I have known (the good ones, at least) are men among men. They are stronger, prouder, more confident, surer, more skilled, faster thinking, smarter, than so many other guys I have met.

My husband, the best man I know, is a Marine.

Is there a bad side that the military tries to hide? Certainly!

Does it mean that it's all bad? Certainly not!

I do agree that anyone enlisting should be fully informed. I also think that the kids who run off thinking that the military is going to be some big video game are in for a huge surprise.

I think the video on the site is one that should be watched and considered and while it does smack of a slightly anti-military message, someone joining for the right reasons should be able to watch it and soberly trek forward with their enlistment without pause.

Flexed-Arm Hang Secrets (As Revealed By a Female Marine)

A female Marine once told me that the secret to the flexed-arm hang is singing the Marine Corps hymn.

I thought she was crazy but then she explained.

She said that if you count you will only psych yourself out, but if you hang on for dear life and sing the Marine Corps hymn and can make it through all three verses without stopping that you will max out your time for the hang.

I have taken her advice and just tonight I did 69 seconds on the flexed-arm hang. Only one second short of max. I also only got through two verses of the hymn.

Maybe it's just the motivation of singing the hymn. Maybe it's the mental distraction as you desperately try to remember the second and third verses while hanging on for dear life.

Either way, 69 seconds ain't bad.

Is It Worth It?

Remember when I said I was going to go forward with more confidence in myself and my decision?

Yeah, I lied.

But it was unintentional so it's okay.

If it makes you feel any better I am trying to do what I said it was I was going to do. That is, I'm really trying to have confidence in myself and my decision. BUT.. every now and then I get this overwhelming sense of, "WHAT, IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, AM I DOING?!"

I got a really strong wash of this last night when putting my son down to bed. He has learned the joy of hugs and kisses and sometimes he decides he would like to kiss me or his Daddy and hug us for fifteen minutes straight before he's really ready to go to bed.

This doesn't bother me, of course. I adore it. It is precious and endearing and something I wish he would never stop doing.

And it hits me.

I won't be able to get a kiss from him for months. Or a hug. Or a laugh. Or a smile. Or a snuggle. Or a giggle. I won't even get a dirty diaper, which may sound like a good thing now but after three months of going without I would probably happily change a hundred dirty diapers a day just to be near my boy.

So, is leaving my son and my home and my husband and everything I love to become a US Marine worth it?

Boy I wish I had that answer.

I can hear the nay-sayers now who would say something like, "If you don't know for 100% sure then you have no place in the Marine Corps." Ooh-Rah. Chest-thump. Hub-bub.

Let me just say that a mother who runs off to do anything from learning how to sew or to save the world from nuclear war and doesn't ask herself if it's worth it or not is not any kind of mother I would put up for a woman-of-the-year award. This is a decision that should give you sleepless nights and make you wonder if it's right or not. It's a big decision.

And I guess I won't know the answer to my own question until it's all over.

After I put my son down to sleep last night I came downstairs and sat on the couch considering this very carefully.

As I did I was Googling some information on the Marine Corps and came across a blog I had written many years ago when my husband was still in the service himself.

My mother had asked me if it was worth it to marry a man a who was going to be gone for long periods of time and may even die for his country. I has written this in reply:

"Yes, it’s worth it. And yes, I am ready. I look at my husband now, the prospect of him going back to war looms over our heads, not with a heavy weight but with a sort of anticipation. I don’t look at it as a dreaded thing, but as a necessary thing. This is what he does. He’s a Marine. It’s in his job description. For me, it is my job to wait, to love, to anticipate, to cherish, to fill each one of our days with joy, love and kindness so that if we should have to say goodbye to one another I have no regrets. Should he be faced with something horrible, he can look back on his days with me and find them all to be splendid days. That he can know that I love him and am proud of him; that I understand that this could happen, and I had said all I needed to say, done all I needed to do, loved him all he needed to be loved to feel fulfilled. I look at him every morning, and I know, it’s worth it."

I was so certain then and I had not been wrong. Now the tables are turned and I'm forced to look for that same certainty. Is it worth it? Is leaving, serving, worth it? When, how do I know?

Crunches: My Nemesis

According to the Marine Corps a crunch for me is literally a sit-up. I have a long torso and no matter how far down I try to hold my arms, in order for them to touch my thighs (the official Corps version of a crunch) I have to do a complete sit-up.

I had mentioned in my blog about my IST at MEPS that I only did 42 crunches despite my best efforts and despite knowing that I have done and can do more.

I was baffled.

My husband thought it might be a form issue and that we could play around with my body position while doing crunches and we decided to do that tonight.

I've been horribly sick this last week or so and that cold that I thought was a cold turned out to be a sinus infection that has kept me darned-near bed-ridden.

Today, feeling a little better, I decided I would try my first real exercise since I've sworn in.

Still coughing and weezing I got down on the floor and cranked out 59 sit-ups/crunches.

I was so darned irritated I could have spit.

My husband and I played around with my body position for a few minutes and I think we finally figured out the problem.

The advice that I have heard repeated so often is that one should scoot the butt closest to the ankles so that your arms are as close to your thighs as possible. The reasoning behind this is that the distance between your arms and your thighs will be shorter and therefor you won't have to raise your body off the ground as far to do a complete crunch.

However, a well-established technique to mastering sit-ups/crunches is to come half way up using the abdominal muscles and use the muscles of the thighs to pull the body the rest of the way up. This takes half of the strain off the abdominal muscles and allows you to do far more sit-ups or crunches than by using the abdomen alone.

Here is what I have discovered.

The closer you scoot the butt to the ankles the less your thigh muscles will be able to assist in the crunch and you are limiting all of your efforts to your abdomen alone and your number of crunches will drop.

Don't believe me? Get a chair, and lie on the floor beside it, putting your lower legs on the seat of the chair so that your upper legs are perpendicular to the floor start your crunches. You will notice that your leg muscles are almost useless to your crunches. See how many you can do compared to how many you can do when your feet are on the ground and your thighs can assist in your sit-up.

And therein was my problem. I was so "scootched" in that my legs couldn't help me and my crunch count plummeted.

The secret to the crunch is not just getting your butt as close to the ankles as possible but finding a happy medium between getting your butt close enough to your ankles to shorten the crunch but also back far enough to where your legs can still assist.

I intend to keep playing with my positioning as well as working on my crunches in general to where I can maximize my abdomen and my legs and get a good crunch count in.