I am a fan of Parris Island, MCRD. Aside from pictures from recruit training and digital copies of "The Boot" I also get links to articles wherein Parris Island or someone on Parris Island has been featured.
Yesterday I was alerted to an article called, "Moms at War Part 1" wherein a female First Sergeant of Drill Instructors with a sixteen year-old daughter and a five-month-old son was interviewed.
The second part of the article series was discussing fathers who stay home while mothers are deployed and the last part was an interview with some Army officers and what their thoughts are on mothers who serve.
There was one more article talking about what can be learned from Mothers who serve and that was also a very good article.
I felt they were all very timely considering the fact that I am a mother who has joined the Armed Services. Though I have been sure of my decision on most accounts there have been a number of doubts as I think about my future in the Marine Corps.
Let's be honest here. Deciding to join the Marine Corps when you are single is a big enough decision. Deciding to do it with a husband is even harder. Deciding to do it with a husband and a child... well, you can see why my most common response is, "You're crazy!"
And, yes. Sometimes I do feel crazy. After all, there's only so many times that you can hear how insane you are before you start wondering if there is any validity to the accusations.
Notwithstanding, here I am, going forward until there's a clear reason not to.
In the last article I read about lessons of motherhood from moms that service it said, "After speaking with two women who found a balance between life at home and a life at war, I’ve learned that having a child change my life forever, but I’ll still have to live my life. Working and following my dreams will set an amazing example for my daughter."
I have to live my life. I have to do what I have to do and this is something I feel I have to do. Am I deceiving myself? I don't know and no one else knows either.
I have attempted to be wise about this decision. I have gotten counsel and I have sought the opinions of those I trust and who I know have my best interests at heart. I did not seek out the people who I knew would agree with me and I didn't stop short after a simple, "yes" from one or two key sources. This has been one of the biggest decisions of my life and I have gotten the most conflicting advice.
On one hand I have people telling me to go for it. On the other hand I have people telling me not to. A lot of people tell me that I'm crazy and so many more tell me they are proud of me and my decision.
I told my mother that this is one of those times when you want to ask God to stop with all of the subtle guidance stuff and just bring down that flashing neon sign that says, "YES" or "NO."
The bottom line is that I will not get that heavenly sign. I will get no definitive answer from elsewhere giving me the exact "yes" or "no" that I am looking for.
Ultimately I can only trust myself. I can only do what's right for me and my family. And sometimes, when you aren't getting a clear and screaming "no" it means you're getting a "yes."
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