Pushy

I was very specific and clear with my recruiter. I told him that this was not an immediate thing. While I was sure the Marine Corps was what I wanted I would be waiting for at least six months to join while my son weans, I get back into shape and we arrange for things like child-care. As much as I want to be a Marine I'm not one yet and can still afford to put my family first. I will not leave without knowing my family is taken care of.

But, alas, I got a phone call last week asking me to go to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) this week and be sworn into the DEP (Delayed Entry Program) by the first of December.

I'm not entirely against being in the DEP but when I asked my recruiter how long I could expect to be in the DEP before I shipped he said, "One to two months."

That's a far cry from the six months to a year I quoted him when I first sat in his office.

At first I got excited and a very mischievous little part of me wanted to go for it. Why wait, right?

But then I remembered that I'm still ten pounds underweight. My son still screams his head off when I leave the room. We have no child-care arrangements for him while I'm in Boot Camp and my husband is at work. And on and on and on.

We aren't ready.

But as the saying goes: If you wait until the perfect time to do something you will never do anything.

I understand that there is no such thing as the perfect time but it is prudent (and responsible) of me to wait at least until my son is weaned. I am, after all, a mother to a boy who doesn't yet understand about dreams and desires and goals. He understands me and my relationship with him and to take that away right now would be hard, for both of us.

Part of my goal is to do this for him as well. I know that sounds crazy. How does leaving my son behind to become a Marine help him? My hope, prayer, desire and ambition is that it will teach me how to be a great leader and therefore a great mother. Even if I never left for the Marines I still would not be able to be around every second of every day. Eventually I will be gone, whether I want to be or not and what will matter to my son is not my presence but how I taught him to be alone. Did I give him the strength to stand up for himself? Did I teach him the character to say no to others and himself? Did I teach him the stamina to keep trying no matter how many times he's failed? What will he be able to take away from his time under my parentage?

I believe I am a good person. I want to be a strong person as well.

So that has become my goal.

I promised my recruiter I would call him back next week and give him my answer. As much as I really would love to be in the DEP and have a ship date I know I'm doing the right thing by waiting.

Now, to work on him about my MOS (Military Occupational Specialty).